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Sunday 20 April 2008

Things I never thought I'd hear myself saying. But I do.

The expectation management thing didn't work. Largely because even though I set myself some reasonable Expectation Management Goals (see previous post) I still secretly harboured the belief / unreasonable hope that I would exceed them. See, this is the problem with the whole concept of Self Management. You can't actually kid yourself. In fact, increasingly I wonder whether I am kidding anyone. Even my all-under-the-age-of-six children. It's the way they look at me when I come out with things like, "Try to remember who's in charge here!" As if they have no idea who's in charge and wish someone would bloody well make it clear or at least take some reasonably decisive action. Which leads me to the list I've been compiling of other such phrases of which I once lived - blissfully ignorant - on the receiving end, but now have to listen to myself saying with increasing disbelief and horror:

"Don't speak to me / your father like that, young lady."
"Come here, this instant!"
"Do I make myself clear?"
"That's enough of your cheek, young lady / young man"
The use of 'young lady' and 'young man' in general when implying disapproval
"Just what do you think you're doing?"
"We'll see. Maybe. If you behave yourself."

It is a concern. Paul is turning into a less funny blend of Victor Meldrew and Basil Fawlty and I am turning into I don't know what. Just some kind of haridan, I think.

5 comments:

Sali Mali said...

Next comes sounding just like your mother/father followed by your teenage children looking you up and down and saying those immortal words "Mum, you aren't going out in that are you?!"

Dina said...

followed by : 'Oh mother listen to yourself!!, I know what I am doing you know I am OLD enough!!'. It is here that I have a flash of lighting into my memory and my parents words are thrown at me : 'you will have children one day and you'll see !!' ........well here we are with our children and yes we do see..very clearly indeed!!'

Lucy Diamond said...

Oh God yes...the first time I heard myself using the phrase "young lady" I was shocked that the words had actually come from my mouth. Sadly it's an all-too-often utterance these days, as is the warning "I'm going to count to three..." and also:
Say sorry!... No - say it properly.... No, you still don't sound like you mean it. Try again...
*sigh* I am quite looking forward to "You're not going out dressed like that!" though - just to complete the full set!

Working Mum said...

I can see a great toilet-side humour book emerging here, ladies... Anyone want to co-author it with me? x

Sali Mali said...

Write it and issue it to all parents in labour - then it is too late hehehe