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Thursday, 21 June 2007

Gear shift

I feel like I'm always saying this, but it's been one helluva week. You know that feeling you get when you try to cycle up hill in the wrong gear? (I have to confess this is now entirely theoretical for me as I never cycle anywhere). The pedals seem to spin round and round really fast but the bike hardly moves. Well, right now it feels like I'm pedaling like fury but the effort to achievement ratio is just not happening for me. So am I in the wrong gear, on the wrong bike or am I just trying to cycle up the wrong hill? I have to say, right now, I'm starting to wonder if it's the wrong hill. I mean, should I really be expending as much emotional energy on work when the people who really need it are my kids? In fact, I've been so very much at my wit's end that I've started having those fantasies about moving to France, buying up an old wreck and becoming a pig farmer - that kinda thing. I know, I KNOW. The grass is always greener on the other side and all that. But really, don't you ever think some times.... WHY?!

3 comments:

Kate said...

We're all hurt by the myth that we must shine in all we do, all the time: be the mom who 'never' lets anyone down, the career woman who 'never' lets parenthood get in the way. There is such a thing as good enough! And most days, really, we're doing ok. You're clearly smart, loving, and funny- even when you're frazzled and tired. I'll bet you're doing just about fine. . . but you need a glass of wine, and a long hot bath!

Jan said...

Just do what you do in your own individual way.
Don't analyse too much stuff but ENJOY lots of stuff...
Eat well sleep well love 'em all and care for them/your work well...
but NB: remember yourself in all this as well as everyone/everything else..
And one day you WILL be a little less busy coz the family will be a little more grown and you'll have Time Of Your Own..
It Will Come. It Does. But the hereandnow is a very special unforgettable time...
Honestly.
So tale lots of photos in your mind camera and ENJOY..

Working Mum said...

Thank you, ladies, your words are very cheering. And I shall take you up on the suggestion of taking time out for me - especially if it involves a nice glass of wine!